What's Wrong With Television: Part 2

Breakfast Cereal commercials. Every single one of them seems to promote stealing! Honey Nut Cheerios are always being stolen, and I don't need Handsome Hector or Yellow Jack showing up at my house first thing in the morning. Trix and Cookie Crisps both have their mascots trying to steal their cereal from children, and what is that teaching kids? How not to share. You know the bunny wants some stinking Trix, but no. You can't have any. But we will plaster your face on all the boxes just to rub it in. Same with the wolf, and the last time I saw wolfs and kids in anything together Little Red Riding Hood's grandma got eaten. Lucky Charms has a bunch of kids trying to steal the cereal from Lucky, which sends a horrible message! I want his cereal, so I'm going to get a net and some traps and torment that poor mythological creature until I get a bite. Fruity pebbles are always under threat from Barny, Fruit Loops are currently working on dismantling every landmark they can find to discover secret cereal that they believe they are entitled to, and Cocoa Puffs promote a schizophrenic bird continually trying to get his hands on a box. Now the Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials don't promote thievery, they promote cannibalism, which is worse. Those reasons are why I prefer Honey Bunches of Oats and Apple Jacks. You are what you eat, so what does that say about our youth? Think about it.

Sincerely,

Captain Obvious